Returning Home Pt. 1

It is my second day of work in 2010, and my third day back in Guatemala. I went home for 17 days that were richer than I could ever hope to describe. Almost every moment of every single day I was with people, knowing that I´d have plenty of time to be alone when I got back here. I even spent some nights with people, slumber partying a few times. The coldest, snowiest Kansas City Christmas of my entire lifetime was in many ways also the warmest.

I´ve been struggling down here, and that´s not such a big secret for many of you. I, a pretty extreme extrovert, have been limited to a much, much smaller (though very good) group of people to interact with here, let alone interact with in my first and most comfortable language. I feel uncharacteristically quiet, withdrawn, and pensive here. Maybe those are good things in some ways, but they've also been incredibly difficult to adjust to. There is also, of course the cultural adjustment and new work environment, not to mention the end of a very important relationship. So I´ve been grieving that, and struggling with all this newness and differentness and I felt like I was going crazy with doubt and a loss of connection to the reasons that I came here in the first place - and then I went home.

I think words like Hallelujah were made for occasions like this. We know what it means, but it still seems to grab the edge of that ineffable elation we feel when we feel loved, or inspired, or purposeful, or all of the above together. I dove right in with friends and family, laughing and celebrating the goodness of Christmas and America and Kansas City and Togetherness. I moved forward through some of that grief and pain and confusion and cried a little in the presence of people who care quite about me and could actually hug me at the end of our time together, rather than just say goodbye and hang up the phone. I was so blessed to be loved, and so blessed to have the chance again to love my people in person - with affectionate touch, or gifts, or even just eye contact.

I was healed in some really significant ways by community, and reflected on the magic of Christmas. In the middle of this messy world, and my messy life, God incarnate came to Earth to give us direct and complete communion with him - which we often find through each other. We are the Body. Get it? I felt like I really did (and do) get it.